Yesterday afternoon and evening Conley screamed so much and kept yell-crying and accidentally hurting himself, and then yell-crying more. He was in such a bad mood and really tired. It was driving me crazy and thinking time weren't really helping a ton. He was yelling and hitting the door, and both Joseph and I lost patience with him.
I'm reading The Danish Way of Parenting, and it's so amazing. One thing the authors argue is that empathy in parenting is really important, one of the six most important things of being a happy parent in raising happy children. I read just a snippet of it last night, and it was so timely. From it I got the idea to look at pictures of different faces showing different emotions with Conley and to talk about what each person was feeling, why, how we could help them. But first we said that it was OK to be feeling that way. I asked him why he was feeling frustrated the day before. He said he didn't know. I asked him to tell me when he feels frustrated, so that I could give him a hug (because he said that would help him). So we did that today. Talking about and practicing empathy for others seemed to be really helpful. This morning he was getting frustrated and fire in his eyes, like he was going to push my or Eloise's buttons or disobey or yell. I asked him to come sit on my lap. I tickled his arms and legs and told him to unrelated stories. That physical affection and attention turned the ENTIRE DAY AROUND. I swear.
I asked him what he was feeling throughout the day, and I asked him what I could do to help him accomplish what he wanted to do, and things like that. And it worked so well. We had a great day together.
