Dear Conley,
Today is my due date by your size measurements; but Saturday is your due date by my regularity measurements. This morning at 3:47 a.m. I started having painful contractions; it was so hard to relax. But I got a heating pad and I snuggled with your daddy, and that all helped. The contractions have slowed to a near stop; but today we are going in to see the midwife at Lovelace and get my membranes stripped, which hopefully means that you will be here soon! I can't wait to meet you.
We have done lots of things to get ready for you. Like put the nursery together, have baby showers, wash clothes, and organize all your baby stuff. You have a wonderful village to grow up in; lots of friends and family members who already love you and have provided for you generously.
I've also tried to prepare by strengthening my faith and by praying for you and by praying that I will be a good mom and that Daddy and I will be led by the Spirit to know how to take care of you and show you our love. We have been indirectly preparing by getting better at weekly planning, at managing our finances frugally, by reading our personal scriptures, by reading our scriptures together, by praying morning and night together, by eating together, by working on communicating openly with each other, by having family home evening every week, by trying to be missionaries and share the gospel with our friends, and by going on dates every week. As we continue to work on these things and as we develop our relationship, we will be better able to care for you. You will feel the love that we have between us and it will help you feel safe and stable. One thing that hit me during my scripture study time this morning was from my patriarchal blessing. It says, "I bless you with great joy in your home, peacefulness and happiness, that there might be a spirit of service between you and your husband that your children might grow up with this spirit and that they might love one another and serve one another." I can't imagine anything more perfect for me, anything more beautiful, anything I want more in life than that! And today I felt that I need to ask your Daddy every day how I can serve him, help him, make his day better. If I get more and more in that habit, then you and your siblings will observe it and pick up on it and apply it organically to yourselves. What a great thing!
Mama's been so blessed in her life. You'll see that as you grow up. We have the true gospel, we have faith, we have an education, we have knowledge. All of these things help us manage the daily tasks of life. I feel like I've had it easy, though. Did you know that some people can't have kids? And we are having you without even trying! It is such a big blessing, and I'm so grateful and humbled by it. When we first found out, I was confused and a little upset. But now I just feel so excited. The timing is perfect. I will get to spend lots of time with you, but still have other things to think about and work on with my master's degree. And when I finish, I will be more ready to spend time at home and you will be my buddy while Daddy goes to dental school. Heavenly Father is so smart. I'm sure you know that right now.
I hope your little spirit isn't too sad to leave Him up there. I can't wait to learn your personality and observe all the spiritual gifts that you come with. I can't wait to feel so much love for you! I already do, but I know it's going to multiply exponentially from here.
Okay. I love you!
Mama
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