I'm sorry LA wasn't great. It is impossible to relax in that city...so busy and bustling and bursting. I'm glad the internship is over, in that case. And that you have already started your master's program! So amazing. What classes are you taking and who is (are?) teaching them? I want to hear more about the program, but only if you'd like to talk about it.
I'm so glad that your sex life has improved:). And that you told me that. So cool. It's so important! I bet you miss Jason a ton. Is it hard to be far away? What do you do to keep your marriage strong at such a long distance?
I love being a mom. I know some people say Fbook is deceptive because people only post happy things. But it is true for me (the happiness, not the deception). I feel like there are so many things to be happy about, and motherhood is the happiest. I have learned a few things so far:
1. There are so many incredible blessings that come along with it that people don't talk about. Maybe because they don't want to get cheesy. Maybe because the blessings are too sweet and sacred to divulge. Maybe because they forget about them in public when their babies are a little fussier than normal because they are out of their routine and there is so much foreign stimulation; the fussiness may at that moment distract the parent away from remembering all the good parts of having a child.
2. There are lots of naysayers (this is related to point one). Sometimes negative things are easier to talk about, like lack of sleep, lots of diapers, added expenses, strain on marital relationships, loss of purpose for moms if they feel like they have nothing else to do, etc. I heard/saw more of the stressful side of baby-ness than I did the good. That's why I wasn't ready and didn't want a baby and was scared.
3. I don't want to ever be a naysayer. I feel so blessed and inadequate and humbled by the opportunity to be a mom. There have been a few times when I have had an unkind thought or an impatient moment with Joseph or I gossip with my sister or something. And then I look at Conley and just feel a little shameful of myself and undeserving of such a sweet, perfect, healthy little human. He makes me want to be better every day.
4. When you are obedient and involve Heavenly Father really intricately, things work out and are really wonderful. He has helped me balance school and family and church in an orderly way. He has helped me get along with others even when I am tired. He has helped me feel love for Conley. (I don't know if I needed help with that. It's super easy to love him. But that love is from Heavenly Father.)
5. I thought I knew what love was when I married Joseph. Shoot girl shoot. It's nothing compared to what I know about love now. (And I'm sure I'll be singing the same tune for the rest of my life.) I love Joseph so much more now than ever. He is attentive to Conley and that means the world to me.
6. When I had Conley, it was like Heavenly Father poured out all sorts of blessings for everything good I had ever done. Like He had stored lots in a "lay-away" blessing bank and decided to pour them all on me at once. It was beautiful. I've never been so grateful for every making a good choice.
7. The "Proclamation" is so much more important to me now. My testimony of families and the Plan of Salvation is so much stronger.
Anyway. Sorry to ramble. I just feel so grateful that my birth control pill didn't work like it was supposed to. Conley is such an amazing plus in my life. And I don't feel like I have changed too much. I still do yoga. I still hate cooking. I still do school. I still teach online. I still go visiting teaching when we make it on time. I still talk on the phone to my sisters a few times a week. I still like late movies. But added to who I was and what I did is this little bundle of best friend love. Ugh! I'm choking up just thinking about how much of a blessing it is to me.
In conclusion, have a baby:). I want everyone to feel this much joy! Haha but whenever you feel ready. That's what's important. That you do what Heavenly Father wants (or else He'll just make it happen His way anyway...which always is better in then end anyway).
Well, I love you. And miss you. You are a great friend. I can't wait to hear back from you!
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