snuggles and reading books

 Conley is 10. He is not super physical most of the day; he'll back away when I try to kiss him or hug him too much. But around 7 PM or so, it's the sweetest thing, it's like his body and mind melts and he wants to be snuggled and kissed. I try to always respond to his signs--he'll stand right behind me or lean on me a little. And he always wants me to snuggle with him after Daddy reads to him at night. Last night he wrapped his arms around my waist and tried pulling me into the family room. I followed, and he'd picked a children's book we'd gotten from the library that he wanted me to read to him. It was so sweet. 

Also we have a rule that if he belches he owes me a kiss. He did it last night. Belched, and then came up to me and kissed my cheek. It was so amazing. 

Eloise opened the garage door to the house as Joseph and I were reversing out of the garage this morning at 445 to take him to the airport, waved, and made a half-heart with one hand. It was so cute. She was carrying a blanket and shielding her eyes, all sleepy but not wanting to miss saying bye to him. She told me later that she set her alarm for 4:02 so she could say bye and "waited a long time."

Field trip chaperone

Conley didn’t realize that I was chaperoning an upcoming field trip to the New Mexico Philharmonic at Pope Joy. After school the day before, I asked him if he was excited for the field trip, and he said no. Then I told him I was coming. He turned and smiled and said, “Really? You are? Cool!” It was so sweet and sincere. He really was happy and it made me so happy. It was a moment I just never wanted to forget. There are so many things that are great about him, but one of them is that he only says things he really really means. He never says things to make you happy or whatever. He’s just totally authentic. So when he says something like that it means a lot.

Funny saying

What even do you know this person about?

She smiles at me

I’m sitting at Eloise’s gymnastics class, just watching her while I listen to a book. She is so sweet. She consistently cares more that I’m there than that other people are there or who else is there. She loves seeing me at school or when I volunteer for field trips. She always runs up to me and hugs me. During gymnastics, she’ll make eye contact and smiles so big. She’s so sweet. Fills my heart.

Eloise loves me and I don’t deserve it

She does so many things that are just so precious. I don’t know what I did to deserve all of her deep love, but I’m trying to soak it all in and appreciate it. Maybe it won’t last, but then again, maybe it will! Here are a few specific things. I lay by here at night and read to her. I read something scriptural or from a Christian children’s book and then also a novel. Right now we’re reading Anne of Green Gables and both of us giggle a few times each night. Anne is just so funny! Anyway, Eloise just smiles at me and puts her arms around me and kisses me and wants me to lay by her after I read. She always wants me to read more than I do. And sometimes after we turn the light off and we’re snuggling, I’ll open my eyes and look at her and she’ll do the same to me and smile so sweetly. She tells me she loves me a lot and today she said I was the best mama.

she wants to go with me on nearly every errand I run. She comes with me to play prelude every single week. She’ll cry if I leave without her. She stayed an hour and 15 minutes after church with me today because I had to rehearsals. She had the opportunity to leave twice, but she wanted to stay with me. when I drop her off at school, she squeezes me so tight and kisses me, and then when she walks through the gate, she sometimes wakes her hand in the air toward me even if she’s facing the other direction. And then she stops right before she rounds the corner and puts her hands in heart shapes. And I do it back.

Yesterday she and Conley and I made a lemon tart together. It was delicious and they were so cute and helpful. For some reason, they love zesting and juicing lemons.

Giving Conley the benefit of the doubt is always the right choice

100% of the time. When I have the foresight to give Conley the benefit of the doubt, what ends up being true always exceeds whatever hypothetical intentions I awarded him. 

He asks me to snuggle with him every single night. It's so so so sweet. He always talks to me. And always holds up the blanket until I lay down next to him; then he covers me up with it. It's so amazingly sweet. He can be crusty toward me all day, argumentative (his age and brain lend itself to that right now), push back, and then just turn into the gooest little muffin at bedtime. He tells me his sweet and sour, lets me pray for him. Lets me read scriptures to him and tell him stories, sing to him. The other night he asked me for a story, and I actually am not great at telling stories. They are usually short and lame and when I finish, the kids say something like, "Is that it?" But anyway he really wanted one so I told him about that time that Paul and I went hiking at the Menaul trailhead and saw a tarantula and Paul lost his mind like a little boy. And Conley wanted another, so I told him about jumping of the railroad bridge into a deep creek below and how fun that was, also with Paul.

Anyway. He's a good boy. It is always a mistake (because I am honestly always wrong) when I assume the worst in his intentions, actions, etc. I attach meaning to his actions, because he is different from me and handles things a lot quieter, more realistically, more logically, and sometimes insensitively. But that doesn't mean he is being mean or spiteful. He is often just thinking, deciding, analyzing. And sometimes he is just being a kid and getting distracted anyway! I pray for patience to remember this and apply it!

Unicorn horns have all the magic

 Eloise has been kind of loud lately. She reminds me of myself, and how adults used to tell me all the time as a kid to be quiet, settle down, lower my voice, etc. I don't necessarily want to be telling her that all the time. But sometimes it's a little loud for me. She is also full of emotions. She is pretty good at negotiating and reasoning with though. She is obedient and helpful. She acts promptly. I did say to Joseph that when she's a pre-teen and starts acting more emotionally or passionately, we'll need to remind ourselves that she was this way just personality wise, since she was six. Or maybe even before.

Anyway, she is still just my delight on a daily basis. I love seeing her, being with her, holding her, watching her. I love her little face and soft cheeks. Her lisp and her sincerity. Her big blue eyes and how excitable she is. 

We read this beautiful "Magical Unicorn Society" book that Gail gave her for her birthday sometimes at night. We read it tonight and there was a story about one kind of unicorn that has to live in cold temps or else its horn will melt. She stopped me and said, "Yes and if their horns melt, they will die." And I asked her why. She said, "Because that is where all their magical powers are kept." She gave more description. She still pronounces her r's as w's. So when she is really serious about something, which she was tonight as she described unicorns, it's just to die for watching her lips and cheeks and hearing her talk so seriously and importantly.

We kept reading and she interrupted again, saying that Unicorn Day was sometime soon. I asked when, and she said, "I don't know. Something like April 9th." We asked Siri on my watch, and sure enough it was April 9th. I asked what she wanted to do, and she said, "Hopefully find a unicorn."

Gosh it was so cute. I love her little heart and brain and mind. The things she thinks and wants and finds fascinating.